Hush, now

		so hush, now __________________

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Ting Ke Tricia archives May 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 credits Design: doughnutcrazy		Posted on: Thursday, November 05, 2009 \| 11:14 PM It's the actual OP run tomorrow and I just woke up from a 3 hour nap so Q&A prep isn't done (or even started) and I haven't run dry runs by myself so I'm suddenly feeling very insecure and unprepared how disgusting can I get of all days to nap a mega-nap it had to be todayyy. Fat fat stopped over for awhile today cos she didn't have keys to get home & no one was home but I ended up falling asleep & when I woke up mum told me she left already oh my gosh I felt so horrible. I didnt even realise I fell asleep and what has happened to all my punctuation? OP OP OP. A little insane part of me is actually quite excited for it. But it's just mostly queasy calmness now. Only tomorrow shall I allow myself to be a little frantic. Not tonight. Yet. I dislike Q&A with a passion :( Tomorrow at this time, PW is unofficially over to me. Oh my gosh I wonder how that will feel like. Life without PW. :O We received results back today, and it felt weird. Time passed us by so quick, I still remember thinking about results day back during orientation period and now it's here. Some things are changing, but I wonder if we'll ever get used to it. You don't realise how important things are to you till the moment you lose it. Same goes for people, I guess :/ -- last night it suddenly dawned on me that i might look back & convince myself that it was all a dream so i desperately went back to try to find it back, to save it- that piece of fleeting reality. was it real, is it real? oh if i could but turn back time & just remembered to save it :( if. dear fat fat Posted on: Wednesday, November 04, 2009 \| 12:00 AM Hey lady, I don't know if you'll read this but I just wanna say though I know it's not a goodbye forever kinda thing, I'll miss you not being around quite abit, quite alot, alot. But if you're happy, I'm happy cos I have then no right to be sad :) so all the very best in whatever you do, really, only the very best :D but if I could but just give one mark to you, I would. I'd give ten marks too, if that's what it'll take. Posted on: Monday, November 02, 2009 \| 11:49 PM you have no idea how hard i mentally kick myself each time i pretend i don't see you there, each time i pretend i don't care at all it's like i want this, but i do that yay. so please kick yourself harder next time, idiot does he know Posted on: \| 8:55 PM If what you are is a daydream I'll never get to hold, at least you'll never know. every single piece, love Posted on: Sunday, November 01, 2009 \| 1:05 AM I'm not supposed to blog tonight cos I know blogging'll take up lotsa time & time isn't what I got cos I still got stuff to do though all I really wanna do right now is sleep but I can't afford that hmmmmm Don't really know why I perpetually feel like I have stuff I need to do these days, I feel like I can never relax cos, 'No! There's still Chinese to study for! No! There's still Q&A answers to think about! No! You gotta rehearse your script! No! You need to think of that game proposal now! No! Remember you're so screwed for Chinese so do something! No! You haven't done vectors, & tutor is coming tonight! No! You need to start revising econs already cos tutor is coming soon too! No! Blah blah blah blah blah.' So needless to say I'm abit stressed. I don't know what to prepare for now in just one day. OP dry run or Chinese. Chinese feels so far beyond hope now, but I feel I can't just abandon it, I gotta do something. Chinese theoretically ought to be more important right now cos it's the actual thing, but I feel like if I invested time in OP prep it'd be more productive & I need to nail Q&A properly soon :/ Yesterday's dry run was disappointing, cos while I felt pretty calm and steady when presenting, in the end everyone said I seemed really nervous and so was talking too fast & was soft. Odd, I honestly kinda felt otherwise. It's quite disturbing. So I need to work on that too :/ Gah. Q&A :( You can do it you can do it you can do it. :/ Besides the stress, I think today was a good day :) Spent most of it at Wan-wan's place working on PW and all. Peaceful~ OK rehearsal time! I'm going to project my voice so loud that I wake my dad up. Yes. & dim sum lunch tomorrow please. twenty-first Posted on: Wednesday, October 28, 2009 \| 11:23 PM oh and, happy 21st birthday 哥 :) No, I really don't think so Posted on: \| 11:13 PM Strange, it feels like I just had a bad day, but I don't feel like it. Mmmhm that's good right? I'm tired now but I can't sleep yet cos I still have stuff to do. I woke up at 4:30am today to rehearse my script but well, my OP dry-run screwed up today. Like really, really really screwed up :/ I couldn't remember my lines, was shaking, left out chunks of info, and worst of all, stood there speechless for Q&A. Gosh I so badly wanted to answer the questions but nothing reasonable came to mind :( I hope that never ever ever ever ever happens again :( If this repeats itself, I have no idea what I'm gonna do on the actual day :{ CCA was OK, but I had chinese tuition with Shyan after that. I'm really thankful & grateful for her effort. I'm just really worried I'll disappoint her hard work :/ I feel bad for not being as hard-working a student as she is being a teaher, so I'll go off soon to do the homework she assigned to me :) But I'm now really scared for Chinese. Wth? I'm freaking screwed ok, that's all I can say. Tireddddddd. To-do list for tonight: ~~1. Send script to Benjamin~~ 1. Shower 2. Chinese homework 3. Sleep - i didn't realise how well you're capable of brightening up my day i didn't realise that's how important you are to me Oh, it's getting just a little fragile Posted on: Monday, October 26, 2009 \| 9:34 PM It's a feel-weird day today. I don't know why I feel so tired, cranky, and just plain odd. I need to get started on my script real soon cos I want- no, I need, to crash early. I can't believe Chinese is stressing me out :/ I don't know why I'm feeling stressed >:/ OP? I'm really craving for macarons nowwwww. I need some sugar in my system. Macarons macarons macarons macarons macarons macarons macarons macarons macarons macarons macarons macarons macarons macarons macarons macarons macarons macarons macarons macarons macarons macarons macarons macarons macarons macarons macarons macarons macarons macarons macarons macarons macarons macarons macarons macarons macarons macarons macarons macarons macarons macarons macarons macarons macarons macarons macarons macarons macarons macarons macarons macarons macarons macarons macarons macarons. I don't know why I feel so flustered I'm having a splitting headache I think I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. OK I shall not procrasinate any further. I love my Mummy & Daddy, btw. It's been awhile I told them that, I think. Well they think I'm just blabbering rubbish when I do say it though :/ - hm. Posted on: Sunday, October 25, 2009 \| 11:39 PM But I am very happy to have some people in my life. I hope they know who they are :) Without them, what'd I be? Posted on: \| 11:33 PM Hello, it's again one more straw down. Well, how many more do you want to try? I have only so many left. I'm content, but I'm just as unhappy. It's an ambivalent state of emotions, like the scale's at perfect equilibrium- there's equal amounts of :D and D: On the 25th of October, Sunday, at 11:30PM, someone just wishes she was so much more of this & so much less of that & just. I don't want to write Chinese compo tomorrow :(